Sunday, March 22, 2009

Bird Brained Decorating: A Sorta Scary Story

Last month, I did a quick sweep through our local indoor flea market and found these adorable pink bird planters. The price was right, and they were in perfect condition, so on an impulse I snapped them up.
When I got my little treasures home, they were given a bath and buffed. Then I began searching for a place for them to nest.

I started in the foyer, but the newbies couldn't light there. A pair of peacocks had already claimed the space on the hall table next to a pile of books, and they complimented the picture frame. Best to leave that vignette alone and look elsewhere.
Next stop was the living room. There had to be a perfect spot in the behemoth of a wall unit. I went to have a look.

No room on this shelf. A pudgy budgie had alighted on another stack of books and looked too comfortable to displace. Don't you want to pinch those cute little cheeks?

Maybe a higher shelf on that side? Well, maybe not! The middle birdie seems to be saying, "Go ahead, make my day. Just try to move me!" My right eye started to twitch in anticipation of having it pecked out in a fit of avian fury. I moved on...
Couldn't bring myself to oust the Cardinal. I'm still feeling guilty because his dogwood blossom was broken during a move, and we haven't seen his wooden pedestal since before Christmas. He has a right to look miffed. It's not just my imagination, he does looked miffed, doesn't he???
Maybe I could move the small eagle. No, that wouldn't work either. Two pink birds in each hand are worth eight in the bush, so they certainly won't fit in this tiny space! Besides, I think he's giving me the eagle evil eye!
On the highest shelf, the large gyrfalcon was striking his usual majestic pose. It's the only shelf that accommodates his bulk. He definitely won't be relocating in the near future. He's also a strong and very fierce predator. Hmmmmm...Did I just see him blink??? I swear...he blinked at me! Didn't I read somewhere that they blink just before they move in for the kill???
I turned to leave the living room and had a full blown Tippi Hedren moment. (Remember The Birds???) I heard the sound of a thousand wings flapping, and through the chandelier window the sky grew dark. Tightly grasping my pink treasures, I looked right and saw birds facing one way.
I glanced left, and saw birds facing the other way! A chill went up my spine. A cold sweat coated my brow.
I spun around, and the massive wood carving that my husband has nicknamed The Claw, loomed over my head!
My heart started to pound, and I closed my eyes in an attempt to regain my composure, but it didn't work. Instead, my mind's eye flew to the metal wall hanging that was sitting in a spare room upstairs waiting to find a new home.
I raced into the master bedroom, and had to kick the door shut with my foot, because now I was clutching the pink birds to my chest. I raced for the closet to hide, but remembered the tapestry that was sitting on the floor still in it's shipping box. It's covered in blue birds! Now I regretted not being able to decide where it should be hung.
I slammed the closet door, and with shaking hands set the pink birds down on the dresser. I became weak in the knee as I looked around my bedroom with the khaki green walls and soft yellow accents. Why did I buy pink birds that didn't match anything in my house, and where was I going to put them? My head was swimming as I threw myself across the bed. How had so many birds gotten into our home? I turned on my side, and the last thing I saw before I fainted was the pattern on the soft, comfy quilt that's my current "blankie"... More birds!

Okay, that last part was a teensy exaggeration. I actually stretched out across the bed and took a short nap because it was Sunday afternoon, and I was frustrated at not finding the right spot for the new additions to the flock.

When I woke I felt much better. While dozing, I had a wonderful dream, and I was basking in the after glow. In the dream, the pink bird planters had been filled with tiny flowers and served as the centerpiece in a wonderful tablescape. Chocolate brown, mocha, and dusty rose hues swirled around meticulously arranged dishes. Flatware and crystal gleamed in the sunlight and linen napkins were pressed and folded to perfection. It was a glorious sight, but alas, it was a dream.
Fully awake, I realized that the birds would play a major role in a tablescape someday, when I had the time. It wouldn't be that day, but it would happen. I retrieved the pink birds from the dresser, and carefully placed them in the small sideboard in the kitchen.

That's where the pink birds were perched last night, while my husband and I helped ourselves to dinner straight from the pots in which it was cooked. The serving dishes stayed in the cabinets doing their usual job of holding down the shelf liners. We sat at the kitchen table, which had been 'tablescaped' with our best plastic placemats and paper napkins, and enjoyed our supper. It had been a busy week, and a busy Saturday. It was nice to sit and relax with a good home cooked meal.

More than once during dinner, I did hear chirping. It could have come from the yard - sound has a funny way of moving around here in the hills - but I strongly suspect that it came from the sideboard. My husband gave me a funny look, but didn't comment when I whispered, "Soon pink birdies, soon."


  1. you had my heart racing!!! My parents would love those birds that you showed. My dad has exotic and rare birds in his farm. The peacocks roam like dogs and the different birds each have their own barns...(little barns) the house is full of statues of different species! I love the story...and if you can't find a spot for pink birds..there is always a can of spray paint that can take care of the color!
    have a great weekend....

  2. I just got in from the greenhouse. Have been planting for three evenings now. Up to 116 trays, and cannot plant another thing until I clean that mess in there up...I need to set more shelving up and re-arrange it a bit to make my space more efficient. It is almost time to make my hanging baskets now...the petunias are getting really big! I am starting to get a bit more excited...can you believe we are expecting almost a foot of snow tonight? come on SPRING!!!!

  3. Nancy Jane what an imagination you do have! LOL...when I look around my house I see I have a tendancy to love birds, bunnies, & doggies in my decor...;-) Bo

  4. Cute post! We'll be looking for those little guys in a future tablescape!!...Debbie

  5. oh this is too funny, love your story and look forward to seeing your new birds in your tablescape

  6. Ah, this post is for the birds! Hahaha... sorry, couldn't resist. Love your birds!

    Can't wait to see what you end up doing with those darling little pink ones.

    PS I have several lamps that feature birds; love them.

  7. I am so glad you stopped by my blog, because it brought me over to yours, and I have laughed all of the way through this hysterical post! I have a lot of birds at my house too (but then, I have a lot of everything!), so I'm always looking for a blank spot to put some new purchase. All of your birds are so pretty. I just hope I don't have nightmares about "The Birds" tonight!! laurie

  8. Love your post and yes, those birds would look good as a centerpiece. I understand that "Avian decor" is the "in" thing -- you've got a good start!

  9. What an imagination you do have.I thoroughly enjoyed this story.And you do love birds,don't you?I am so surpriesed you don't have real ones....ann


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